dirty laundry

We are truly suburbanites. I am writing a post about my excitement of getting a new washer and dryer. Cause we're flossy flossy. Our old washer and dryer were O-L-D. We bought them 5 years ago when we got married from my college roommate Emily who had bought them from a little old couple. So they were 15 years old minimum. Basically half as old as me.

Photo Credit

And then we got a fairly new (only 3 years old) Kenmore High Efficiency set. So fancy! So many cycles. I was beyond excited. Since as a new mom, I basically live every moment of my life putting clothes in or out of a washing machine. I mean for real, why can't poop just magically wash itself off? What about those commercials for pants where the liquid just slides right off of them...can I order that up in a onesie?

So we hooked up the shiny, multi button, digital read appliances and loaded up the washer. I washed a load, put that in the dryer, and then started another load in the washer. After the dryer cycle beeped that it was over, I went to pull the load out. Oh no, they were still wet! Hmm. So back in the dryer on high for a little longer. Hmm still wet.

That is about when I realized that the dryer, while technically on, had blown a breaker and was not actually blowing any air. And now I had 2 loads of soaking wet laundry. I remembered there is a laundromat down our street that did not look too sketchy from the outside. I mean, I have never been to a laundromat...how hard could it be? I throw the 2 loads of wet laundry in trash bags and run down the street while Brian watches a sleeping Lila.

As I am dragging the 2 ton bags of wet laundry to their front door, when a man stops me and tells me that the laundromat closes at 10pm. It is 9:45pm. He also acts as if I should know this obvious fact but I can't think of a way to tell him "How should I know?? I have never been to a laundromat! I am only here because my expensive high efficiency dryer is broken tonight" without coming across as a bit stuck up. So I wisely keep my mouth shut.

I am now standing in a laundromat parking lot at 10 o'clock at night with 2 soaking wet bags of laundry. Thank God for cell phones as I was saved by a friend who happen to be up and let me dry clothes at her house until midnight. Laundry=1, Lindsay=0.

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains,

a pretty violent image there.

I think if you've got a t-shirt with a bloodstain all over it,

maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.

Maybe you should get rid of the body

before you do the wash.

~Jerry Seinfeld