Thursday, October 28, 2010

the sickly house

Lila is finally starting to feel better from the antibiotics. And of course the 3 times a day fight to the death between me, her and the saline spray and nose suction bulb. She almost drew blood this morning with her swats at me to get away.

But of course just as she is feeling better, I start going downhill. Tuesday I woke up with a sore throat and headache but I just attributed it to 3 nights of having a sick, restless baby sleeping beside me in bed. By the way, how do you people that co-sleep do it?? I about lost it after 3 nights of waking up with every movement!

Anyway, I plowed through the day on Tuesday trying to get as much work done as possible and downing hot tea like it is my job. But Wednesday morning revealed the truth that I was indeed sick. Brian took Lila to daycare so I could wallow in my sickness on the couch sans baby. About mid-day I decided I needed to find out if this was something more serious than the flu and headed off to urgent care. Where they made me wear a mask. I have never felt more self-conscious than sitting in a doctor's waiting area with a mask over my face that screams "INFECTIOUS DISEASE."
So apparently my flu vaccine was basically useless. Because I have the flu. One month after taking the flu vaccine. As a new mom, I had not thought about how my sick days would change. Usually a sick day for me looks something like this: lounge in bed and whine at Brian while he is getting ready for work, sit on the couch and drink tea and watch my standard "sick movies." Sick Movies are key: there is "Newsies" which reminds me to persevere in my day and try to feel better, "Sound of Music" which reminds me to not become a governess and to stay away from Nazis and of course, "Little Women" which reminds me why I am glad I have running water, central heat and how cute Winona Ryder was before she become a weird shoplifter.
Being sick with a baby means that I still have to wake up early with her, give her a bottle and clean her dirty laundry while I am home (since you cannot pass up time at home without cleaning the mountains of little socks and burp rags that accumulate throughout the week). I think Brian felt bad for me having to still be responsible and not revert to an 8 year old on the couch because he brought me home tulips, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and a mango orange smoothie. And then he held the baby while I watched "Little Women" because I really could not give up that crucial part in my getting better process.

Sometimes I get the feeling
that aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.
~Terri Guillemets

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

jump for my love

One of the toys my dad insisted on buying Lila when I was pregnant was a Jenny Jump Up. Otherwise known as a doorway jumper. He said it was my favorite toy when I was a little girl. We decided to put it together for Lila this weekend as she is just starting to enjoy standing up on her feet and bouncing.

First of all, this thing is deceptively difficult to put together. Too many pieces and I was super worried I wasn't doing it right. You know, since it was going to hold my child suspended from the ceiling. When I finally got Strap E connected to Bar 7, we put Lila in it for a test run. And she did not quite get the hang of it at first. Notice the feet dragging behind her and her arms sticking out awkwardly to her side.
Eventually we rescued her and put her back on her blanket on the floor. She doesn't seem that interested in leg strengthening just yet. She's way too busy eating her toys to worry about nonsense like that.

I came to get down, I came to get down
So get out your seat and jump around
Jump around, jump around, jump around
Jump up jump up and get down
~"Jump Around" by House of Pain

Monday, October 25, 2010

my fair lady

As a mom, you have all of these expectations about what it will be like to take your kids to fun activities and annual events. I like to think about all of the exciting things I will get to experience with Lila during each new season. One of my fall moments I was looking forward to was the State Fair. The North Carolina State Fair is such a fun event with yummy (calorie laden) food, rides, games, animal and agricultural exhibits and the best people watching ever. I love living in the South but when I visit large gatherings of locals, I am astounding at the amount of mullets, fanny packs, mouths full of chew and general lack of all fashion sense. And even though those carnies are straight out of an episode of “What Not To Wear” they sure can make some good fried oreos and snickers bars.
State fairs can have lots of fun for parents with all of the rides and food but also have some cool exhibits for kids. Our fair has animal shows, crafts and art exhibits and of course, the state’s biggest pumpkin.
The one exhibit I was most looking forward to sharing with Lila was the baby chick tent. Our local college’s vet school hatches a bunch of chickens and ducks right before the fair and then brings them out to meet all the people of NC. It has always been my favorite part of the fair in years past (check out my pre-baby long hair from 2008).
I could just imagine Lila’s face as she touched those soft little down feathers. And then she fell asleep 45 minutes after we got to the fair. We still walked all the way over to the animal exhibits but sadly the chicks had gone to bed for the night. I guess that was a God thing because I totally would have been a bad mom and woken Lila up for that photo op. Sometimes, you just have to let go of your expectations and enjoy whatever God has for you in that season.
While we try to teach our children all about life,our children teach us what life is all about.~Angela Schwindt

Sunday, October 24, 2010

hard to breathe

It is such a hopeless feeling when your baby is sick. Lila has her first virus and I think I am in worse shape than she is. Saturday morning she woke up really congested and had a hard time breathing out of her nose. I put her in comfy clothes because I know that is what I like to wear around the house when I am sick. We just hung out during the day and tried to soak in some sunshine, even though it was chilly outside.
Saturday night she was taking a nap after dinner with my parents and woke up just fussing and gasping for breath. I picked her up and realized she has a fever. 100.6, which is a low grade fever but my little one has never had a fever before so it seems like a big deal to a new mom. We spent all of Saturday night with her sleeping on my chest, giving her Tylenol every 4 hours and making sure she was elevated enough to breathe.

Today has been better with her fever only going up once and she is not struggling to breathe quite as bad. However, she is now tugging on her ears so off to the pediatrician in the morning for us. I hate feeling so helpless, like there is nothing I can do to make her pain go away. This is a part of being a parent that seriously sucks.

When an illness knocks you on your ass
you should stay and relax for a while
before trying to get back up.
~Terri Guillemets

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

dress to impress

Being in between sizes sucks. I realize I am opening myself up to a bunch of hate mail, but I have lost all of my baby weight and then some. But my body is nowhere close to the same size. And it is just such a weird shape. Too much here, not enough there, sagginess everywhere. Which basically means I do not own a single piece of clothing that really fits me well.

Enter the biggest shopping conundrum ever: Brian's 10 year high school reunion in 3 weeks. Not only do I need to find a dress that fits me but I need to look HOTT. Yes, this warrents a double T. I think this is one of those times I am not dressing for myself but for others. I mean, who doesn't want their husband to be gloating about his hot wife with all his high school buddies?

Now I know Brian would think I look good no matter what I wear. And he is always proud to call me his wife. But sometimes, you just have to pull out the big guns. So I came home from the mall, went upstairs to slither into my new strapless satin black dress and high heels to get Brian's opinion and walked down the stairs. He turned around from playing with the baby, sat there with his mouth hanging open and reached into pocket for a breath mint. Mission accomplished.

A woman is closest to being naked
when she is well dressed.
~Coco Chanel

Monday, October 18, 2010

pumpkin pride

Reprinted from my weekly column on Southern Mommas :-)

Picking out the perfect pumpkin is challenging. Okay, not in real life. But when you have little ones grabbing at every orange object in site, there’s not a lot of time to examine the perfect stem. As this was our first October at the pumpkin patch with the little one in tow, we decided on the distract, divide and conquer method. First we let Lila explore the patch. And then we let her pick her own little baby sized pumpkin. And then with a new toy to play with, we could browse away for our big person pumpkin.

Once you get your pumpkin home, there are tons of ways to decorate the pumpkin. No need for the old school pumpkin carving kit circa 1990. You know the one I am talking about…with the orange handled serrated knife in the cardboard package. You can find a lot of different ideas on family craft websites.

Now that your porch is cute, time to use up all that yummy pumpkin insides. Okay, I am joking, that is why God made pumpkin in a can. This pumpkin muffin recipe is one of our favorites at home. Enjoy!
Pumpkin Muffins
1 c vegetable oil
2/3 c water
4 eggs
2 c canned pumpkin

1 t nutmeg
1 t cinnamon
3 c sugar
3 1/4 c flour
1/2 t salt
2 t baking soda
-Mix wet ingredients together with mixer. Then add dry ingredients and mix thoroughly. Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes, till inserted toothpick comes out clean.

I would rather sit on a pumpkin,
and have it all to myself,
than be crowded on a velvet cushion.
~Henry David Thoreau

Sunday, October 17, 2010

nursery rhymes

I don't know why it was such a big deal. She goes to daycare two days a week and has stayed with tons of family and friends. It's not like I am not used to handing her to new people. So I don't know why it was such a big deal to walk into the nursery. 

Maybe it is all those Sundays I stood in church watching parents walk their babies down the hallway to Sunday School. Maybe it is because I love holding her so much while I worship. Maybe it is because there is a little proud part of me that loves how cute she is and how everyone loves playing with her in our row. 

But it was time. The last few weeks have been a crazy juggling act to keep her on my lap and not loudly talking throughout the service. She can sit up now and needs other babies to play with. So I stalled all through worship today and fed her a bottle and then I finally had no more excuses. I walked her back and got her first Sunday School sticker ever.
And then I walked into the nursery room and God said, "See? It's okay." Our good friend Candace, an amazing mother of two little ones and a kindergarten teacher to boot, stood smiling at the door. How could I have picked a better first teacher for Lila? And then I walked back into service and sat with my coffee and prayed for God to work in Lila's heart over the thousands of Sunday mornings to come.

Direct your child onto the right path
and when they are older, they will not leave it.
~Proverbs 22:6

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

pie in the sky

Nothing says that it's time for fall like a baby in a pumpkin patch.
I die from the cuteness. 

It was so fun to see Lila taking in the pumpkins like a big girl, staring at all their textures and of course, trying to put them in her mouth. I am glad that the patch was deserted because it was basically a baby fall photo shoot. We had such a fun time picking out our two pumpkins, one tiny little one and one big one.
After all the excitement of the pumpkin patch, Lila was pretty worn out and was not in the pumpkin painting mood. We'll have to save that for another day. But it was so great to spend a special, fun evening with just our little family. Doing family things. Those times don't come along very often right now and I try to savor them whenever we get them. With me working lots of crazy hours as a full time event planner, Brian working two jobs and of course our little Bean, we don't have a lot of time to just be silly. Thanks pumpkin patch for providing a great excuse. 
Bittersweet October.
The yellow, messy, leaf-kicking, perfect pause
between the opposing miseries of summer and winter.
~George Eliot

Sunday, October 10, 2010

in the blink of an eye

Lila, it is not possible that you were born seven months ago. Seven months is a crazy long time. Doesn't it sound so much longer than six months? I wish I could have wrote you a six month birthday letter. One that you could look back on and smile at all your silly antics. I want you to see yourself through my eyes, like the letter I wrote you right before you were born. But on your six month birthday we were at your grandmother's funeral in California. And I was not fit to write you a letter that day. 
Because I have so many things to tell you. You are so grown up it scares me. It seems like just yesterday you fit in your dad's hand, all curled up into a little ball. So imazingly tiny.
You are the most inquisitive, calm, social little girl. You have never met a stranger and every day is a new adventure. You are so close to crawling and I know the moment you take that first movement, the world will be a different place. For you and for me...and for the electrical sockets. 
You love to babble to your toys, your feet, your family...anyone who will listen. You love to eat and are loving the new foods we try every day. So far you have had apples, blueberries, bannana, strawberries, plums, pears, mangos, papaya, pasta, bread, pumpkin, sweet potatoes, carrots, peas, green beans, yogurt, rice, butternut squash and puffs cereal. Basically you like to eat. The only foods you don't like are avacados, yellow squash and macaroni and cheese.
Watching you learn to sit up for the first time was the most amazing thing. It was almost exactly your six month birthday. One day, we would try to hold you up and you would topple right over. And then the next day, ta da! How amazing that you can figure it out that quickly. I know God is going to have so many ta da moments in your life where you will grow by leaps and bounds over night.
At night, I walk into your room, stand by your crib and marvel at the beautiful little girl you are becoming. I know that it is a gift from God that you love to snuggle and you never complain about a couple of more minutes being held tight in our arms. I know soon that you will be too busy exploring the world to sit still against my chest. But for right now, it is still my favorite way to pass the time.
And the way you love your dad is just so beautiful. You have him wrapped around your finger and he can make you laugh like no one else. You have made him into a father, just the same way you have made us into a family. Your little eyes are always moving, checking out the world around you. Thank you for always smiling so bright the moment we lock eyes. I am so proud to be your mom.
Eventually you will come to understand
that love heals everything and love is all there is.
~Gary Zukav

Friday, October 8, 2010

read all about it

So I have some exciting news to share...I have been chosen as a weekly writer for Southern Mommas website! It is a site for women who want to connect with each other and most specifically share their blogs. I will be writing a weekly column on the website titled "Southern Seasonal" that will talk about fun things around the South as we move through the year. I will respost my column every week on here as a blog post or you can read it off of my column on their website!

The leaves are starting to turn, the air is a little crisp in the morning, babies are donning tights and sweaters and the pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks is back. PUMPKIN.LATTE. If that is not worth celebrating, I don't know what is.

Hi my name is Lindsay from Too Much Good blog. And I have a confession to make. Everyone say it..."Hi Lindsay." Ya'll, I am not from the South! I grew up in Los Angeles, as far from the South as you can get. But I am a permanent Southern Momma now and I hope you all will let me write for you, even if I have no idea how to "can" anything, cannot fry okra and didn't say the word ma'am until well into my teen years.

I will be writing a weekly column about all things seasonal in the South. I would love your ideas for topics you would like to talk about or maybe an inside tip you have. You can leave blog post ideas or discussion by joining the Southern Seasonal group: Until next week, go grab yourself a latte, sit on the porch wrapped in a big sweater and enjoy the view.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

the year of the girl

I cannot believe it has been a year. A year since the day we found out that Lila was a girl. The day were introduced to our little princess. We were so nervous that morning. The first half of our pregnancy had been hell (little did we know the second half wouldn't be so fun either) and we just wanted some reassurance that she was growing strong.
Sometimes I think God allowed us go through such a dramatic pregnancy to prove his healing power. Sometimes I think God didn't have anything to do with it and sometimes life just sucks. Either way it is now our testimony that God uses crap to bring amazing things into your life. That you can get through the loss of one twin at 10 weeks, 7 weeks of hemorrhaging, shortened cervix, preterm labor at 24 weeks and over 23 weeks of bed rest and still make it out the other side. I am still amazed that she is actually here.
I think miracles exist in part as gifts and in part as clues
that there is something beyond this flat world we see.
~Peggy Noonan

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


I miss those cute little ears. I miss seeing her try to crawl and instead scooting herself backwards across the floor. I miss how adorable those feet looked in tights for the first time ever this morning. I miss her little coos as she tries to fall asleep during nap time.

Being at work means I miss all of those little things that I take for granted on the days I get to be home with her. But it totally helps when I get pictures like this in the middle of the day.
What else could I ever hope for popping up on my Blackberry in between meetings! What are some of your ways to not miss your little ones too much while you are away from them? What are ways you savor the time you have with them when you are at home?

Always kiss your children goodnight,
even if they're already asleep.
~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

say cheese

I am so blessed to be friends with such amazing photographers. However it makes me acutely aware of how much I suck at taking pictures. And how much my camera sucks. I see their photos and am super jealous of how they can capture a moment in time. So I enlisted one of them to do some six month photos of Lila and us.
My friend Casey, whose daughter Daisy is 3 weeks younger than Lila, is just taking off in her photography career. She totally captures the personality of the kids she photographs and has Lila's number DOWN.
We started off the photo shoot in the quaint downtown of a nearby town for some fun family photo shots.
Then we had to pay a little tribute to our favorite show.
And we ended up in a big field near by. We look happy but really we were trying to avoid all of the red ant hills. And other bugs flying into our face while we were smiling. Luckily Lila was oblivious.
I am so glad we have these shots of how we all played and laughed together at this age. She is such a happy baby and makes being her parents so easy and fun.

You don't choose your family.
They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.
~Desmond Tutu