five big ones

Happy anniversary to my wonderful husband of five years! Wow, that seems crazy to say. Five years is big time. In the past five years we have endured me going to grad school, graduating from UNC, went on a cruise, bought a house, decorated said house, vacationed in the Florida Keys, had Brian switch bank branches twice, went on lots of trips around NC, celebrated my sister's wedding, went through 2 years of fertility treatments, got another dog, travelled to Chicago for IVF, had a crazy pregnancy, and loved on our little bundle of joy.

Thank you for the amazing journey and I can't wait for the many years ahead. And I am sorry I have strep throat on our anniversary. Which apparently grown-ups still get. So our anniversary dinner is consisting of a smoothie, some chicken noodle soup, and a popsicle. Hopefully the amoxicillin will wave its magic wand over my nasty red throat before our big date night out for sushi tomorrow. Mmm sushi. But not right now. Cause at this moment it's more like, oooh scratchy swallow-requiring sushi, yuck.

Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb.

It isn't something you get. It's something you do.

It's the way you love your partner every day.

~Barbara De Angelis

the good stuff

I have been saving up all my baby gear advice for a giant baby gear review. I know lots of ladies that are getting ready for their first little one, so this post is for you (shout out to Kristy, Allie, and Shallan!) First I am going to review the stuff I loved. Because I like to start with the good news. I have tried to hyperlink to the item online in each name. Last, I will tell you about the stuff I don't like or need. My apologies in advance if you gave me something I hate. It happens, get over it.

Stuff I LOVE

The BOB - The BOB is our jogging stroller. It goes everywhere with us and can pretty much rock out any surface. We love it on the trails and parks. Lila still has to use the Infant Car Seat Adapter so her car seat sits in the stroller. We also purchased the Handlebar Console for my diet coke. And my Blackberry. Both essential to our baby's needs.

Snap N Go Stroller - The Snap N Go is my savior. I mean other than JC, of course. It weighs like half a pound and can fold open and closed in 2 seconds. I just snap her infant car seat into it and off we go at the mall, Target, whatev. It is so much easier than a bigger stroller and has a nice big basket for small shopping trips.

NoJo BabySling - I was given this sling by my friend Rebekah and it is my favorite out of all the other slings I have tried. I like that it is adjustable, so I can keep her loose or tight and Brian can wear her. I also feel like I can keep her upright, which is a big concern with all the sling recalls lately. This is great for a baby like Lila who likes to be held all the time but when Mommy's arm is about to fall off.

Baby Bjorn - It is really worth it's crazy eyebrow raising price tag. Lila loves to be awake in this and look around. And when she gets older, she can face out and really see the world. Brian likes to wear Lila in this to church to keep dirty, rude people from touching her face.

Graco Pack and Play - I did not get one for our living room originally because we have important grown-up furniture filling our living room. And then I brought Lila home. And I was like, where will I change my baby and keep all of her piles of necessary baby paraphernalia? And now it sits, in my living room, mocking me with its awesomeness.

Graco iMonitor - I love this monitor. It comes with two chargeable wireless parent monitors to place around the house and one baby monitor for her nursery. You can hear every noise and it also has a vibe feature that makes the whole parent monitor vibrate when she cries.

Waterproof pads - Because babies pee on stuff. And it is pretty nice when you don't have to change their sheets under the pad in the middle of the night.

The Miracle Blanket - Oh the pages and pages I could write about the Miracle Blanket. Oh wait, I already did right here. The Miracle Blanket made an automatic change in Lila's sleep schedule. Before, only about 3-4 hour stretches at night. After, at least 6-7 hours straight every night. And we have tested it by not swaddling her and at about 3am when she was screaming I was sending Brian to the nursery to wrap her back up.

Munchkin Wipes Warmer - Okay, I admit I thought this was pretty stupid. But she really likes her butt staying warm when she is half asleep. Go figure. A lot less crying during diaper changes.

Gymboree blankets - I love these blankets. They are the perfect size for nursing (which I like using much more than the Hooter Hider and will review below). I tuck one edge under my bra strap, over my shoulder, and across the baby. It is very soft, washes well, and keeps her warm but is not too hot.

Pampers - Love of my life. They fit better than any other brands I can find. They don't leak out the sides or the back as much. I know they are more, but I use coupon codes for Diapers.com and do the Gifts to Grow rewards program, where you enter codes found on diaper packaging and can redeem them for baby gear.

Fanny Cream - Oh how I wish I could link to this online. But it can only be purchased at a local pharmacy in Sanford. It is by far the best diaper cream out of all others. It keeps her fanny nice and dry and soft. If you live in NC, leave me a comment and I can help you get some.

NUK Pacifiers - So funny story about how I sent Brian to Target to buy one of each kind of pacifiers the week we came home from the hospital until we found one that Lila liked. And this is the only one she will use.

Old Navy socks - Seems silly but these are the only socks that will stay on her little baby feet. And they are super soft.

Gas Drops - Lila thinks this is sugar water. She can be screaming, I will put a drop in her mouth and she stares at me, mid-scream turning into a giant smile. And bonus, Target has a generic brand!

Washable nursing pads - Some ladies don't need them, but I do. And wearing a piece of paper around in your bra is just not comfy. Not to mention the disposable pads add up! Love these, very soft, wash well, hold leaks. Only negative, you can see them through some shirts.

Manhattan Toy Winkle - So fabulous. She could start using this toy very early, as the plastic loops are skinny and she can grasp them. And supposedly, you can put it in the fridge so she can chew on the cold loops when she starts teething. I love things that are multi-purpose!

Take It Or Leave It

Boppy Pillow - Okay, to be fair, we used this a lot the first week or two I was nursing. It did help hold her in position better. But it is kind of useless after the first couple of weeks. I would still get one, but maybe see if you can find it used and don't spend a lot on extra covers.

Boppy Rock In Comfort Travel Swing - I liked this swing originally because it was very light and could move around the house. But the last month and half, she does not want to lay in it. Maybe she will like it later. Also, the straps don't fit around her very well when she's little.

Diaper Champ - I don't get it. It's a trash can, but it's pink and has a weird top. Poopy diapers still stink. And the trash still has to be emptied.

Hotsling - It is one solid piece of fabric, so it does not stretch or allow you to adjust once you get the baby in. She hated it the 2 times I tried to make her sit in it.

Fisher Price Baby View Mirror - I hate this thing! I have a bench back seat with no headrest in the middle. And there is no possible way to attach this thing. Every time I kind of rig it up, the first time I stop, the mirror falls. On the baby. Super safe.

Hooter Hider Nursing Cover - I have tried several different brands of nursing covers and don't like any of them. I feel like they are hard to maneuver and not wide enough. I also think they draw more attention than a well placed blanket.

Boon Bug Pod for Bath Toys - Sure it looks cute, but they only provide screws or permanent adhesive strips to attach it to the tub wall. Ever hear of suction cups people??

Whoever said money can't buy happiness

simply doesn't know where to go shopping.

~Bo Derek

rolling rolling rolling

I knew it was coming. Lila has been planting her leg underneath her for the past few days whenever we set her on the changing table. And then Saturday night, I laid her on our bed on her back and she just flipped. I thought, oh well, it will take her a week or two to get used to that. And then on Sunday morning, I woke up to find her upside down, still swaddled, crying into the sheets in her cradle. Oh no.

She can now roll over in like half a second. "Flipping from back to front often takes until around 5 months because it requires more coordination and strength" (Parenting.com). Just to review, she is only 11 weeks today. I think we are in serious trouble if we continue on this track.

It is super cute because she is so proud of herself when she flips over. "Look Ma! You put me down and thought I would stay in one place and now I am squirming on my belly! Ha!" But it also means the Miracle Blanket has to be retired. Since she now flips over in her cradle, I have to make sure she can push her face up with her hands. The last two nights have gone something like this:

11pm - Set Lila down in cradle with just a sleeper on
11:03pm - Lila realizes she is not swaddled and starts screaming
11:05pm - Got Lila calmed down and laid her back down.
11:10pm - Repeat
11:30pm - Lila remembers she can flip over and starts rolling on her tummy and screaming into the sheet
11:31pm - I flip her back onto her back
11:45pm - Lila drifts off to sleep
12:10am - Lila wakes up, realizes she isn't swaddled, starts crying, and flips over onto her belly
...Repeat about 27 times until 7am

In spite of the six thousand manuals

on child raising in the bookstores,

child raising is still a dark continent

and no one really knows anything.

You just need a lot of love and luck -

and, of course, courage.

~Bill Cosby

hands off

I have a conundrum. And no, it is not that I like to throw SAT vocab words into my blog posts. People keep touching my baby. I am not a quiet, shy person. I have no problem telling people my thoughts and opinions. But for some reason, I cannot tell people to keep their filthy hands off my little one.

I know some people hang signs like this one from My Tiny Hands on car seats and strollers. Other people just flat out glare at anyone who comes within 12 inches of the baby and their mom radar goes off.

But I cannot seem to speak up when people feel the need to touch Lila. I guess on one hand I want them to admire how cute she is. And I don't want to seem rude. But there is that split second when I know they are about to reach over and rub their probably unwashed germ-infested hand on her cheek. Or grab her finger (that in about 90 seconds she will stuff into her mouth and slobber on).

I guess I don't know what to say without sounding mean or rude or offending people. Again though, offending people isn't usually of any concern to me. Not sure why I care now.

What do you say to strangers (or just familiar dirty people) when they try to touch your baby? Please leave me a comment with your best lines. Maybe you don't have a baby and have had someone say something to you? Were you offended? Did you throw out a Stephanie Tanner "How rude!" but then calm down when you thought about it later?

Now before we do this,

let's go over the ground rules.

Rule number 1, no touching of the hair or face.

~Will Ferrell in "Anchorman"

sit ups

Look who can hold her head up by herself! And if I support her body a little bit, she can sit up on my lap and look around. She is so big time you can't even stand it, can you?

Too many people grow up.

That's the real trouble with the world, too many people grow up.

They forget.

They don't remember what it's like to be 12 years old.

They patronize, they treat children as inferiors.

Well I won't do that.

~Walt Disney

the sunshine state

Oh finally the Florida recap. I know, better late than never. We had such a good time hanging out in Florida. The plane travel was lots of fun, I mean not fun, I mean super stressful. Lila was a trooper, but I was just scared the whole time that she was gonna cry and make everyone mad. I wore her in the sling the whole time, which helped keep her calm and sleeping. We did end up having a poopy diaper that could not wait while we had to sit on the plane for an hour and a half and have the brakes fixed. No big deal, just broken breaks. Nothing to be concerned about says the Captain.

Since the plane was old school and did not have a changing pull down table in the bathroom, Lila got to show her fanny to all her new air travel friends. This is me changing a baby's poopy diaper on an airplane seat. I wish you could see the faces of the people around us. Not only are we submitting them to smelling diapers and  seeing bottoms, but I am also completely blocking the aisle and coming dangerously close to sitting in the guy's lap across the aisle from me while bending over. Fun times.

On Saturday, we went to Winter Park, a cute little town where Lilla's Mimi and Auntie Katelyn spoiled her with a shopping spree from Baby Gap. And we stressed out some very fashionable people with some public breastfeeding at an outdoor Starbucks. We went out to a super fun Greek restaurant for dinner that night and had a little piece of heaven I like to call "Baked Feta." And all God's people said hallelujah.

On Sunday we went to Katelyn and Peter's pool and stressed out some more super cool single people doing shots as they gyrated around to "Rude Boy" on repeat and played beer pong on their inflatable beer pong raft in the pool. Why yes, there is such a thing as a raft made just for beer pong. And then we walked in with my mom, me in a momish bathing suit, and a baby. Buzz kill. Look how cute my adorably out of place baby is!

We then attempted to recreate the Baked Feta that night. Recipe is below. Try it. Your taste buds can thank me later. Thanks so much to Katelyn and Peter for letting us crash their pad with us and all our baby stuff and diapers and gas drops and strollers. We can't wait until you move to NC in July so we can make people feel awkward all the time!

Baked Feta

1/2 pound feta cheese

Olive oil

Oregano

Break feta into small slices. Lay out single layer in a large sheet of aluminum foil. Cover in olive oil and oregano. Fold aluminum foil edges together and bake at 375 degrees for about 15 minutes.

I'm gonna soak up the sun

Gonna tell everyone to lighten up

I'm gonna tell 'em that

I've got no one to blame

For every time I feel lame

I'm looking up

Gonna soak up the sun

~"Soak Up the Sun" by Sheryl Crow

grill baby grill

No, I did not fall off the face of the earth from the stress of travelling with a two month old baby. Just lazy and haven't uploaded the pictures from Florida yet, so I thought, "Hey! It's not like anyone checks my blog to hear me jabber on. It's because of the cute baby pictures! So no point in posting till I have some of those to share."

I will upload all my FL pictures tonight and get down to more "Things I learned while flying with a baby." In the meantime, I am off to go get a fabulous massage today, thanks to my friend Jen. She gave me a gift certificate for my birthday in January. When I was huge. And I thought there was no point wasting it then because as soon as the 50 minutes was up, I would still be big and pregnant. So I decided to keep it for when I could actually enjoy the massage and it's after glow.

And then tonight, we are enjoying some fabulous Tequila Lime marinated steak! Yum! Here is the recipe for your enjoyment :-)

Tequila Lime Marinade
2 T tequila
1 T Worcestershire sauce
2 T soy sauce
1 jalapeno
2 scallions
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 T brown sugar
1 t black pepper
1/2 t sea salt
2 lime wedges

Mix marinade, then add 1.5 lbs skirt or flank steak to marinate at least 6 hours. Goes great in fajitas or enjoy straight off the grill. (From "Fresh Every Day: More Great Recipes From Foster's Market" by Sarah Foster)

Grilling is like sunbathing.

Everyone knows it is bad for you

but no one ever stops dong it.

~Laurie Colwin

fly me to the moon

And away we go! Lila and I left North Carolina on Friday morning with my mom to fly to Florida where my sister Katelyn and her husband Peter live. Alert alert! Crazy woman attempting air travel with a 9 week old baby! I spent a lot of time before we left thinking about the logistics of flying with a baby. So much stuff. So much crying in enclosed places. So little personal space. As stressed out as I was, Lila did great on the flights down. In fact, she slept the entire flight, both from Raleigh to Atlanta, and from Atlanta to Orlando. Lucky me! And of course, lucky all the other people in the very close proximity to us. 

We arrived on Friday evening and have been having an awesome time with Katelyn and Peter. Lila slept NINE HOURS on Friday night. No joke. And I didn't even drug her! She apparently likes being in the land of Minnie Mouse. I will blog about all the fun stuff we are doing when we get back on Tuesday, but in the meantime, here is a picture of my hard core shopper little girl.

Things I learned flying with a baby:
1. Hand sanitize. People are dirty ya'll. 
2. You can take as much milk as you want for a bottle without having to stay within the 3oz rule. Apparently you cannot turn breast milk into a liquid bomb. 
3. You cannot carry a baby through security in a sling. You have to take them out and carry them in your arms. I guess that holster around her baby onsie tipped them off. 
4. Look for family bathrooms in the airport terminal. Cause babies need to spread out with all their diaper paraphernalia. 
5. Smile at the people next to you on the airplane. It makes them really nervous that you might be buttering them up for when your baby's screams are ringing in their ear drum later. 
6. Bring an extra outfit for the baby. And for you. Because while moms might not notice the spit up (and occasionally poop) on our sleeve, real people who are sitting approximately 3 inches from us do.

At the end of the day

an airplane is still a building on its side

being thrown from one place to another.

~"Modern Family"

wake up sleepyhead

I am not a morning person. I literally have an entirely different personality in the morning. I am an extreme extrovert usually and always have something to say, but in the morning, my ability to communicate is at an all time low. I usually respond to Brian in grunts. Luckily, as I am staying home with the Bean right now and not working, I get to sleep in and start our morning a little later. Because you do not want to see me at 5:45am.

We usually have nursy time for Lila about 6:30-7am. Today it was at 8, which made the whole morning seem better :-) After she's done nursing, burping, spitting up, changing clothes and diaper, we are ready to start our day. My favorite mornings are where we don't have to be anywhere and we can just sit together in the sunny living room.

We usually start off like this...

and then move to this as we get sleepy again...

and then finally we have some snuggle time. I LOVE when Lila holds my hand while she sleeps.

Then once Lila goes down for a nap, I can grab a cup of my favorite tea, Pomegranate White Tea from Trader Joe's. Delicious! Another part of my morning that I have been trying to incorporate is morning devotions. Our church all follows the same bible reading schedule, called the Life Journal. Today our reading included: 2 Sam. 24; 1 Cor. 21; Ps. 30; 1 Th. 2. I just found out that I can do my reading and journaling online, which makes me want to do it even more. Because it's cool. And I can scroll and highlight on the computer. I know, what a loser. But every day I pray that God bring out one verse to help me with my day. And today, He did. Thanks God.

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;

You have put off my sackcloth

and clothed me with gladness,

To the end that my glory

may sing praise to you and not be silent.

O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.

~Psalm 30:11-12

little mom

This is a letter I wrote to my "little mom" as we call her for Mother's Day. She is in fact, little, so it makes sense. And I just love my little mom with every fiber of my being. And this post is a tribute to her and how much I celebrate her this Mother's Day.

I have been thinking about writing you this letter for some time and Mother’s Day sounded like the perfect time to tell you how much I love you. You are such an amazing mom to Katelyn, Jonny and I. You are the most selfless mom, always putting us before yourself. I know the sacrifices you made throughout the years to always be home with us, taking us to practices, listening to our stories after school and giving us so much love. You are a true example of a Godly woman.

These past two years has been the hardest in my life. The desire Brian and I have to be parents was so strong it almost hurt. I knew that God had a plan for my life, even if it was hard to see every day. And throughout it all, you were there to hold my hand, dry my tears and love me unconditionally. You knew when to listen and when to give support. You knew when to encourage me to keep persevering and when to stand quietly beside me. I know without a doubt that Brian and I would not have made it through this journey without you.

When I decided to go to Chicago for our IVF, you quit your job, hopped in a car and spent 3 weeks in a totally different state. Not many mothers would make that kind of sacrifice without even blinking. Not many mothers would see this as an opportunity to be a mom, even to her already grown daughter. You dealt with my hormonal meltdowns in Walmart, you gave me shots in my rump, you let me take ridiculously long naps, you talked for hours about my fears and hopes and you held my hand as I cried. I look back now and know that it is a time I will always treasure when it was just the two of us.

At every point in my pregnancy when I was scared, you told me it would be alright, even when you didn’t know that for sure. Every time I was excited, you shared in my joy. Every time I was nervous about becoming a mom, you told me stories from your point of view to encourage me.

The night I had Lila, you stood beside me and Brian, supporting us as we brought our daughter into the world. I could not imagine becoming a mother without you by my side. And I will always remember you standing beside Lila’s bassinet talking to her and praying over her as the nurses worked feverishly. You were a mom to her, even as you were becoming a grandmother.

I look into Lila’s eyes and feel the most overwhelming love and passion for her. I would do anything for her and am overwhelmed at how God has instantly bonded us together. Only now can I finally understand the love you have for us. Only now can I see the treasure God gave us in a mother like you. Thank you for every moment you spent putting us before yourself. Thank you for the unconditional love you showered on us throughout our lives. Thank you for teaching me how to be a mom to Lila. I love you.

finally

I am finally a mom. After many many years of waiting I finally got to celebrate on Sunday. The last two Mother's Day I spent sleeping in, ignoring church, and then spending the afternoon telling my mom how much I loved her. Our church makes a big deal of Mother's Day, asking all the moms to stand up and be applauded. And up until now, there was no applause for me.

Knowing how excited I was about my first Mother's Day, Brian did an awesome job celebrating me. First there was breakfast in bed. Actually, first there was poop in bed. Yes, Lila decided to also celebrate me on Mother's Day. By pooping out her diaper, up the back of her onsie all the way to the collar, on my arm, and on the pillow. Sadly, I did not realize this at 7am until I said, "Brian, why is my arm wet?" And then Mother's Day was celebrated with 25 wipes. And lots of laundry.

So after The Mother's Day Poop of 2010, Brian surprised me with breakfast from my favorite restaurant Foster's Market in Durham. Why yes, that is an herb biscuit with egg, apple smoked bacon, and sharp cheddar cheese. And an adorable card! And last but definitely not least, a beautiful new necklace. The charm has an L on it for Lila, so I can wear it and always remember the Mother's Day were I finally got to stand and be applauded at church. And he bought it all by himself on Etsy. Boo yeah, my hubby rocks! And supports independent artists, might I add.

I remember last Mother's Day, not ever knowing if I would get to be a mom. And being so scared for the future without children for Brian and I. And a year later, I am actually holding my little girl in my arms. And she is so perfect, a true gift from God. So after church, there was more eating at the Preston Country Club and celebrating with my fabulous mom, who taught me all about being a mom myself.

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.

She never existed before.

The women existed, but the mother, never.

A mother is something absolutely new.

~Rajneesh

i tawt i taw a puddy tat

My poor baby girl got her two month shots yesterday. It was way worse on me than on her. She cried for about 45 seconds. I cried all day. I have had a really difficult time deciding what to do about her vaccine schedule. My pediatrician (who I love and trust) recommends the same schedule as the American Academy of Pediatrics. But I know people who do a delayed schedule, because they believe there is less risk of a bad reaction. It is just so hard to decide what to do when there is no clear answer about things. I like black and white. And sadly there is no one to tell me what to do with parenting...how annoying.

After much thought and prayer, we decided to go with the recommended schedule. So Lila had 3 shots and an oral vaccine today. I stood right beside the nurse and held her little head while Brian stood right behind me ready to scoop me up if I lost it. She was a brave girl and got a Tweety Bird bandaid on each adorable little thigh. Who could put a prick in this chubby goodness? I just want to eat her little legs up!

After her vaccines, we gave her some non-recalled non-dangerous Tylenol. And then she slept for 12 hours. No joke. Other than eating and about 1 hour total of awake time throughout the day, she closed her little eyes and slept off all that crazy medicine. I did wake her up to feed her, but honestly she was not all that interested. I hope she didn't mind me poking her every 30 minutes to make sure she would squirm and tell me she was okay.

So here are some updates on The Bean: She weighs 9lbs 6oz (25th percentile), is 22 and a quarter inches long (50th percentile), and her head circumference is 39cm (62nd percentile...holla for a big brain!) She is right on track with her sleeping (through the night, heck yeah!), grabbing at objects (usually the front of my shirt), and smiling. And by the way, her smile rocks my world.

Shot through the heart and you're to blame

Darling you give love a bad name

I play my part and you play your game

You give love a bad name

~"Shot Through the Heart" by Jon Bon Jovi

cleaning house

My parents decided to sell their house this spring. Because they live too far away to take Lila out for ice cream. Since apparently she has been craving mint chocolate chip lately. Now that my sister and brother-in-law are moving to Durham this summer, my parents want to be closer to all of us. So excited to have everyone close together...yay for more family time!

Now that they are getting their house ready to put on the market, I finally have to take back all the junk that I have been leaving at their house for 10 years. Brian and I went through a bunch of boxes last night and came across some fabulous treasures. Here are some of our more interesting finds:

1- Why yes, that is a picture of Lindsay circa 1984. And yes, I do think Lila looks a lot like me. Minus the bonnet.

2- College report on the Amish, cause I am cool like that. Kind of like that time I went to Pioneer Camp when I was a kid. True story. Fun fact for the day: Amish men grow beards, but never mustaches. Since mustaches are associated with the military and the Amish are pacifists.

3- Best homemade scrapbook ever from friends of my parents about the time they babysat my sister and I for the weekend and took us to Disneyland. If you look close enough, you can see me rocking my splatter painted denim outfit.

4- Old school Sesame Street sign language kids book. In case you needed the sign language for pig at work tomorrow.

Only in America do we leave cars worth

thousands of dollars in the driveway

and put our useless junk in the garage.

~Anonymous

i wear no pants

I finally gave in this last week and decided to buy some new pants. After you have a baby, your body does weird things. I lost a lot of my baby weight right away (thank you very much, breastfeeding for your support) but does that mean that I look like I did before I had Lila? Nooooooo. I am now only 5lbs above my pre-baby weight (and yes, I know I am very lucky to lose it that fast, you all hate me, blah blah). But I still have this awesome baby fanny pack that is not gone yet.

I have just been wearing my maternity pants since they are so comfy and stretchy, but then they started to fall off...not so comfy. So I had Brian drag down my boxes of pre-baby clothes from the attic where I banished them as soon as they stopped fitting last summer. And guess what? Those pants don't fit either! Unless I have decided my new look is channeling Britney Spears (her post baby body, of course).

So off Lila and I went to Target to find me some new pants in the next size up. Lila was just wheeling along in her stroller, looking all cute and smiley while I shopped. I dragged my pile of mommy sized pants into the family dressing room with stroller in tow while all the dressing room workers cooed at the cute baby.

And then I shut the door. And then Lila let out a blood curling scream. So I quickly tried on some pants while pushing the stroller back and forth, thinking the movement might calm her down. No such luck. As soon as I had another pair of new pants half way up my legs, she raised the scream several decibels. I quickly picked her up and she started making hungry faces. After realizing feeding her was my only option to stop the screaming and assure that no police officers were sent to investigate the obvious child abuse happening in the dressing room, I gave in.

So there I am, sitting on the bench in the Target family size dressing room, pants I do not own half way up my legs, nursing my baby. And praying to God she does not spit up on the pants. 30 minutes later, I had two pairs that fit me, a happy baby, and a new dressing room attendant who looked shocked when I walked out since I was in that dressing long enough for a shift change. Oh the joys of mommyhood!

Being a mother,

you are never really alone in your thoughts.

A mother always has to think twice,

once for herself and once for her child.

~Sophia Loren

wicked

It's finally date night time! Brian did an awesome job giving me something to look forward to during the long days and nights of these past 7 weeks. He had purchased tickets for Wicked at the Durham Performing Arts Center (DPAC) for my birthday in January. We planned for this to be our first date night after Lila was born. And man have I been looking forward to it!

My parents came over to watch Lila, which was great to know I didn't have to worry about her. We got all dressed up (or as dressed up as I can get since I can only wear about 10% of my pre-baby wardrobe) and ready for our big night out on the town. We started at Parizade, one of our favorite restaurants in Durham. After a yummy dinner of calamari, caesar salad, shrimp and scallop orzo for me and duck for Brian, and banana rum napoleon...we were stuffed and happy.

Then we went to DPAC to see Wicked. DPAC was built several years ago and is a great venue both for it's shows and for it's beautiful view out the glass side of the building. We loved the play! It was the first time either one of us had seen Wicked, which was fun to experience it together. I love the theater; it makes me feel all fancy and sophisticated. Especially when eating snacks out of my purse that I sneaked in.

Photo Credit

What a great time we had, just talking and enjoying each other's company. It is so easy to turn into just a mom and forget the whole wife bit. I am so glad Brian and I could have some time together to be a couple with lots of laughter and silliness. And how much fun it was, to turn to each other on the drive home and say, "We get to go home and see our little girl now!"

The theater is so endlessly fascinating
because it's so accidental.
It's so much like life.
~Arthur Miller