Tuesday, July 19, 2011

mom envy

I know all full time working moms envy stay at home moms. We envision them lovingly sitting at their cleaned off (never full of laundry and unopened mail) dining room table doing art projects with their toddlers, both of them dressed in the latest Gap styles with brushed hair and full makeup at 9am, drinking their hot coffee (never left to sit until it's lukewarm but still gulpable if you hold your nose) and setting up play dates with the neighborhood toddler group for story time at the local library that afternoon. 

And I know my stay at home mom friends think wistfully of our days spent at an office, talking to adults about actual current events (not singing the new Fresh Beats song "Here We Go" for the 23rd time in the last two hours), sitting at our desk browsing through email while drinking a cold diet coke with dry clean only outfits (without peanut butter smears), and having a day doing something that fulfilled our passions. 

Basically all moms have mom envy from time to time. And right now, I have got a serious case in need of a quick shot of Shut-Your-Whining-icilin to the hiney. It is so easy to use the flippant response about how easy it would be to just stay home, especially in the mornings. When I am running around half naked trying to keep Lila away from the ironing board (and dog food bowls) while I pass an iron over my most wrinkle free clothing that hopefully passes as business casual, putting on makeup on my drive to daycare because if I try to put it on before I head downstairs than I sweat it all off before I get to work, chugging coffee into my empty stomach since who has time for breakfast, trying to pack up a diaper bag and laptop bag and purse (and make sure the pacis don't end up with the laptop cord), trying desperately to make it to work before 9:15 so I am not over fifteen minutes late AGAIN. 

Some days it is hard to see that God gave us this life and it is a blessing to have two jobs that pay our bills. Sometimes it is hard to remind myself that God did not give me more than I can handle. That I am working damn hard and that is good enough for me and Lila and God. And that I have an amazing husband that runs outside with his tie undone to carry the baby out to her car seat even if it means he is late for work. 

I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.  
~Louisa May Alcott


Ashlynn said...

You are definitely right. I have been on both sides of this. When I was working full-time, I was envious of all SAHMs and missed my baby terribly. Now that I am a SAHM, I miss the interaction and being able to get dressed for the day! I live in the most frumpy clothes, hair and makeup is never done and I feel sorry for my poor husband who has to see me like that day in and day out. Money is also very tight, so you're right, we ALL have mom envy. Oh yes and if I have to hear "Here we go" one more time, I might throw a toy at the TV. :)

Tonya said...

I know exactly what you mean! I work full time as well, and there are times when I am so envious of the life that I imagine SAHM's lead. When I see look at the dust and clutter in my house - when we have spaghetti for dinner again because that's all I have time to throw together - when I see the moms who have time to make cute homemade cupcakes and bring them to the school to volunteer at the class party - I wish I was that mom instead of the frazzled, stressed-out person that I am. But, thankfully, my husband doesn't expect me to be Martha Stewart and my kids love me even if they have to settle for cupcakes from target and I'm confident that I'm doing what God needs me to be doing right now. And, I'm slowly learning to be content with that...

Megan said...

Amen, sister! The grass is always greener... ;)