mom guilt

A couple of weeks, I had a doctor's appointment in the middle of the day, so I hired a babysitter for Miss Lila Bean. Not knowing how long it would take and knowing I needed to run by my office to pick up some papers, I scheduled the sitter for 3 hours. Luckily for me the doctors appointment was short and sweet and I was not detained into the black hole known as the "office drop in" for very long. 

After running by the pharmacy, I was left with a decision. Come home an hour early and feel bad for booking the babysitter longer so I would still probably pay her the full 3 hour amount? Or take advantage of the blessed free time with nowhere to be? 

I choose me time. Sitting on the patio of a little cafe, drinking a cold Diet Coke, reading a book, and eating a delicious salad. By myself. With no one banging a fork on a table or throwing a milk cup on the ground. No need for conversation, only smiles at people giving me odd looks for flying solo during lunch. I pushed aside the twinges of guilt that I should be taking advantage of this gorgeous day by playing at the park with Lila. Or getting in a few extra hours of cleaning or work. Instead, I sat there for a full 45 minutes, basking in the sun, and just being me.