how great thou art

Not until I had Lila did I think about my own mortality. I remember holding her when she was new born and already being sad that one day she would live without me in her life. I don't know why I think these things; maybe I am a pessimist. Maybe I just never realized what it meant to be needed like that.

This has been a hard week for our family. Brian's mother's best friend, who has been in Brian's life since he was a child, passed away yesterday. I don't think he has ever felt a loss this sudden and he doesn't know what to say or do to be supportive. I just keep praying for her family, that they know how much she loved them and that they find a peace in this horrible time.

And at the same time, my grandma is dying. She is my last living grandparent. She has had Alzheimer's for 10 years and has not known who we are or who she is for over half that time. She was so confused when my grandpa passed away 5 years ago. What a horrible dichotomy of emotions, being so relieved that she will finally be at peace and yet aching for her once she is gone. Right now she is in the last several hours of her life. And I am saying goodbye from 3,000 miles away. I just keeping praying that she close her eyes and go in peace to her husband and Jesus.

My whole family will be flying to Los Angeles for the funeral once she passes, so pray that Lila will do well on the long trip. Pray for my father, who is struggling to deal with the loss of his mother who left us long ago in spirit and is finally leaving us in body. Pray for Brian's family as they deal with a sudden loss of their friend Becky. Pray that I can look at Lila and know that God has all of her days and our days in his hand, just as they should be.

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation

And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart

Then I shall bow, in humble adoration

And then proclaim: "My God how great thou art!"

Then sings my soul, my saviour God, to thee

How great thou art, how great thou art

Then sings my soul, my saviour God, to thee

How great thou art, how great thou art

~"How Great Thou Art" by Carl Gustav Boberg