building a little nest

And we have nursery photos! I know I told you I would post these way long ago but...I'm pregnant and get to make the rules...so here they finally are. We spent Saturday putting some final touches up in the nursery, like putting together the antique cradle, hanging curtains and trying to touch up paint on the stripes.

Notice, trying to touch up paint. The green walls in the nursery were painted over two years ago and we just added stripes when we were recently redecorating. So we pulled out the green paint can that we had so carefully labeled and put in the laundry room. And opened it up. And a hideous, foul odor filled the air! And the cute green paint was now turquoise. As much as I would love to add some "gangrene" accents to my baby's room, I think this paint might have spoiled.

We stopped by Home Depot today and our friendly neighborhood paint mixing man was able to make us up a little can with some paint in the original color. Which means I now have to find another burst of energy to finish up those last couple of spots. We'll see how that goes. I am pretty sure we were lucky for the one we got the other day, so Brian might be on his own with any other work.

Lila has been moving around a lot this week and is clearly not happy with how little room she has. I keep trying to explain to her that if she would just come out, she would be so much more comfortable. As would I. But I guess my fetus reasoning skills still need some work. No luck thus far.

Early this morning, we had a moment when Lila moved and laid on a nerve running down my left leg. The pain was crazy intense and woke me up. And then poor Brian woke up to me yelling his name. Luckily it went away after about a minute and she seemed to do better for the rest of the night. Let's hope for no repeat tonight. Unless its labor pain, and then I will very happily welcome a middle of the night wake-up-call. One can only hope :-)

There is nothing more difficult for a
truly creative painter than to paint a rose,
because before he can do so
he has to first forget all the roses
that were ever painted.
~Henri Matisse

letters to Lila

To my precious Lila,
As I sit writing this, I am almost 38 weeks pregnant. That is very, very big pregnant. For some time now, I have wanted to write you a letter that you can read one day when you are a grown up little girl and laugh at your sappy, emotional mom. For me to be able to write you this letter is a miracle. Your dad and I have been praying for you for many years before you were born. You were not a surprise baby or a “maybe we should think about getting pregnant and then…whoops!” baby. I will explain all of this to you one very awkward day when you will turn red with the sheer embarrassment of your mom even knowing about the birds and the bees.

No, you little Lila Bean, are a miracle. Your dad and I prayed and waited, and waited and prayed, and took lots of shots and went to lots of doctors who told us we might never be able to conceive you. But we knew. We knew that God had placed you in our hearts and that He would fulfill his promises to us. We knew that one day, we would be given this precious gift and we would never forget the rocky, long, arduous road we took to hold you in our arms.

Your middle name is Addision, after a street in Chicago, where we had to travel to get pregnant with you. We believe that God wanted us to exhaust every option so that when he did place you in my womb and help you grow, there would be no doubt in anyone’s mind that your life was special and set apart. We want you to always speak your middle name with pride and know that it is a testimony to God’s promises and unfailing love.

The ten months I carried you were not easy. You had a twin brother, Wrigley, who you will see one day in Heaven. It was so very hard to say goodbye to him, but still we knew, that God’s plan would take us through this storm and that only through trusting him can we ever feel peace.

I cherished every movement I felt inside of me as you were growing and being knit together. To know that there was a tiny human being that was totally reliant on me was exhilarating. I believe God gave us this time to bond us together and to slowly make me into a mother. You loved to kick my ribs and we would play lots of games, like where I would put my mug of tea on my tummy just to annoy you and make you push it away. You were a feisty little one, right from the beginning.

Your dad and I would sit at night and watch my belly rolling like the waves from all your kicks, and elbow punches, and hiccups inside. You loved to hear his voice and would always turn to him when he whispered to you. We would sit and dream out loud about the kind of baby, kind of girl, kind of woman you would become. What color would your hair be? Would you have your daddy’s chin? Would you have my ridiculously big eyes (or baby alien eyes as your Uncle Jonny calls them when he laughs at my baby pictures)? Would you like to dress up and twirl like Aunt Katelyn? Or go fishing like Uncle Pat? Although we have a hard time picturing you as shy and quiet, as we know that nurture has something to do with it, and this is not a shy household.

It’s almost time to see your beautiful face. Every morning we wake up and ask, “Is today Lila’s birthday? Is today the day we get to meet our special girl?” One day soon, it will be. And we know that day will be a celebration for so many people who have prayed for you every day of this long pregnancy. Who knew that you were worth fighting for because you are a gift from God. Mommy cannot wait till I get to stare into those eyes and thank God with all my heart for sending you to me. For trusting me to raise you as a woman of God who will never forget that hope is the strongest thing you can ever hold on to.

Our verse throughout this pregnancy has been Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you will with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Lila, we hope for a life of love and passion and tenacity and strength of character and big, awesome, pie in the sky dreams for you. We hope for all of this in Jesus name.

Love,
Your mommy and daddy

home improvement

Man I loved that show growing up. Not because of Tim Allen's hilarious slapstick humor and multiple injuries. But because of JTT!! I mean, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, helloooo? I had several friends who studied abroad at St. Andrews in Scotland at the same time as JTT, and the little 12 year old inside of me so I wanted to send them a Lisa Frank notebook for him to sign. Thankfully, I resisted.

We have been spending this horribly annoying never-ending waiting time getting stuff done around the house. Yesterday, Brian had the day off to celebrate some dead Presidents, which is my favorite part about him working at the bank. After a great morning relaxing around the house, we hit up the Home Depot and scored on some awesome stuff...a new toilet seat and a gate for the top of the stairs. Shut your mouth, I know you are so jealous you can barely stand it. Especially of my new mom outfit, modeled in the picture.

Brian spent the evening installing all of our new prizes and I worked on cleaning our family cradle. This cradle has been in my family since the 1800's and has held all of my relatives on my mom's side. This will be where Lila will be spending the first couple of weeks at night, beside our bed. Hurry up Lila, so you can play with all your new toys!

"I think men have a lot in common with babies.

We get cranky when our dinner isn't ready on time,

we like to take naps in the afternoon,

and I don't know any man who doesn't love a

spirited game of peek-a-boo."

~Tim Allen, "Home Improvement"

clean as a whistle

So according to my doctor's visit yesterday, she could come any time now. Like tomorrow. Or maybe next week. Or the week after that if she feels like it. Basically he has no idea when this labor will kick into high gear. But at least she is staying happy and healthy while she is in there.

Now that my house is clean from top to bottom, maybe she will decide that it is neat enough for her to join us. This nesting thing is out of control! I have scrubbed all the floors, including moving the furniture to vacuum dog hair out from underneath it. Changed all the sheets in the house. Organized the linen closet. Updated my online bill pay for the next month. Cleaned the fridge and stocked up the pantry. Anyone have any gutters that need cleaning? Not sure if I am trying to force her out with sheer activity or if my OCD is just in overdrive from the complete lack of sleep at night.

God help me. I'm so tired.

I need my sleep. I make no bones about it.

I need eight hours a day, and at least ten at night.

~Bill Hicks

1 down, 3 to go

Yes its a week later and we still haven't had the baby. But finally! We have a name for what I am going through! At our birthing class last night, our instructor told me I am going through Prodromal Labor. Basically it is an extended pre-labor that can take days (or weeks for us) where you have real contractions that become regular and short (we have been down to 5 minutes apart), but always back off after a couple of hours. This labor can cause you to dilate (like me!), lose your mucus plug, and the baby to drop, and one day will decide not to stop and BOOM...you're in active labor.

It feels so good to read stories about other women who have been through the same thing as me. It is really frustrating to feel like you are constantly in labor that is never progressing to actually having a baby. I am just exhausted at this point, having contractions all day and night, not getting any sleep, and just wanting Lila to decide today is her birth day. I am going to the doctor this afternoon to check and see how dilated I am.

Some very exciting news...the first mommy in our group of 4 had her baby this afternoon!! Yay baby Sam! Lindsey, the mom, is doing great and I am so excited to hear about her birth story. It makes this all so real and gets me excited for Lila to get here soon. Todd, Lindsey's husband, made these adorable buttons we have all been wearing to remind us to pray for our little playgroup. The 3 pink circles and 1 blue circle represent our group of 4 babies that will all be born in the next month. 4 little circles that are in our minds and will soon be in our arms.

Miracles come in moments.

Be ready and willing.

~Wayne Dyer

snow day

Well the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful. What a beautiful snowfall we had this weekend! We got about 6 inches here and it covered the whole yard and streets. Saturday and Sunday we just vegged out, watched movies, and made some yummy taco soup in the crock pot. I got the recipe from my friend Rebekah and it rocked! I posted the recipe below so that everyone can have some rocking taco soup.

 

 

 My dad was supposed to fly back from his mission trip from Africa on Saturday morning but the snow delayed his flight in from Atlanta. He ended up spending the night in Orlando with my sister and her husband and finally getting home on Sunday night. Which was a good thing since Sunday all day I was having contractions. 

The contractions continued all day Monday so we took another little trip to Labor & Delivery last night. But sadly it was not Lila's birthday. I am 1cm dilated and 50% effaced, which means we are on the way! Lila has moved all the way down and now we just need to get labor moving. So after several mall walks last night and some spicy food, I am going to get busy doing other things today. And maybe Lila will think I forgot about her and decide to make her grand debut!

Rebekah's Taco Soup

1lb ground beef, browned

1 packet of powder Ranch Dip seasoning

1 packet of powder Taco seasoning

1 can black beans

1 can white (Great Northern) beans

1 can chili beans

1 can red kidney beans

1 can corn

1 can diced tomatoes

Cook meat, drain. Into crock pot, add all 7 cans. I usually drain the oil at least half way out of all the beans and the corn, but put in the juice from the tomatoes. Add several cans of water to desired consistency (I usually only add 1-2 cans water). Lastly, add both packets of seasoning. Cook on high heat for a couple of hours. Serve with sour cream and shredded cheese.This recipe is very easy to double, although I usually only use one packet each of the two seasonings, even with the doubled recipe. It freezes and reheats very well!

When it snows, you have two choices:

shovel or make snow angels.

~Anonymous