on my honor I will try

I wonder if our baby will be a boy/girl scout like me, or very resourceful and logical like Brian. I am the person who always has supplies with me for any possible situation. For example, within 5 feet of me at my desk I have:

Liquid bandaid
Actual bandaids (wild animal scenes)
Nail kit
Lint roller
Several umbrellas
Static Guard spray
Toothbrush
Several different brands of painkillers

The list could go on and on. Now Brian on the other hand doesn't like to accumulate stuff. He is anti stuff, which someone needs to be in our house. Last night we were driving home from a double date at Babies R Us (yes we know we are dorks) with friends who's due date for their first baby is four days before us. Which as a side note, is the cutest thing ever and makes me laugh every time we talk about it.

Anyway, I digress, while we were driving Brian realized that suddenly both of my headlights had gone out. He immediately pulls into an auto store, goes in and buys the lights, borrows a flashlight (which ironically I did not have on stock in my car) and changes our headlights right there in the parking lot.

So maybe the baby will get the best of both parents and be uber-prepared, but still very resourceful and handy. It's just funny to think about which of our drastically different personality traits our little plum will have!

It's clear from your vacant expressions
The lights are not all on upstairs
But we're talking kings and successions
Even you can't be caught unaware
So prepare for the chance of a lifetime
Be prepared for sensational news
~"Be Prepared", The Lion King

elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist

That is how you do the queen wave, for those of you that don't know. This however is how you do the "silly baby, I like to flip over and show the sonographer my bottom instead of sitting still" wave.
Our baby is just a little sassy pants. A little sassy pants that as of yesterday afternoon had NO hematoma in the uterus with it. That is right, it has completely dissolved and disappeared! Like it was never there and almost 4cm long! In fact, our sonographer was finishing up measuring the baby so I said:

"The doctor wanted you to make sure to measure the hematoma."
"What hematoma?"
"The 4cm long hematoma on Baby A's placenta."
"Are you sure you had a hematoma? There is nothing here at all (crazy pregnant lady who makes things up)"

She actually went back to look at the last ultrasound on file to see if I was crazy. And I was not! But thank you Jesus the hematoma is gone! Doesn't this baby look happy now that it has room to stretch out in there?
We could not feel more blessed to finally be out of the woods. Thank you so much for everyone's prayers, as we know this was truly a miracle. Now we can get back to the business of growing babies!

Miracles are a retelling in small letters
of the very same story
which is written across the whole world
in letters too large for some of us to see.
~C.S. Lewis

you put the lime in the coconut

So much time on the couch, so much sleeping...basically sums up my week. Brian however had an incredibly productive week and completely moved around all of our upstairs furniture. We currently use our larger spare bedroom as a guest room and the smaller one as a catch-all. We decided a couple weeks ago that we wanted to use the larger one as the nursery and the smaller one as the new guest bedroom. One small problem...the smaller room is a dark gray...which I can hide when it is full of boxes, but not when people are going to have to actually sleep in there. I mean, how depressing would that be to wake up to? I don't like being responsible for driving people to antidepressants.

Brian decided his project for the week would be to move everything out of the smaller room, tape it, prime it, and paint it. By himself. In 4 days. Have I mentioned what an awesome husband he is? And now we have a beautiful new slate blue guest bedroom...currently accepting reservations for the 2009-2010 season at a discounted rate.

We got to go in to my doctor on Monday morning to listen for the baby's heartbeat using a doppler on my tummy. They are bringing me again tomorrow for another listen and then we go back on Tuesday for a full appointment with Dr. Coordination and an ultrasound to measure the size of the hematoma. Our prayer is that is has shrunk or completely dissolved.

Decorate your home.
It gives the illusion that your life is
more interesting than it really is.
~Charles M. Schulz

never ceasing in prayer

This has been yet another up and down week. After a great ultrasound on Wednesday morning, we ended up in the Emergency Room in Charlotte on Wednesday night. I was working an event for my work and started hemorrhaging, which was frightening to say the least. Brian and my parents jumped in the car to come meet me and Brian's parents drove up from Gastonia (near Charlotte). It was so amazing to know that we had so much prayer throughout that stressful evening.

After finding out via ultrasound that Baby B is doing okay, we discovered that the bleeding is from the subchorionic hematoma that is attached to Baby A's placenta (and caused the harm to that baby) is growing and burst. It was so helpful to at least know where the bleeding is from. They expect the hematoma to burst again and are hoping that it stops growing and dissolves soon.

As for right now, the only thing we can do is pray that Baby B will keep growing and get stronger, which makes it better able to deal with all of this other stuff happening around it. Right now, the odds are in favor of our baby. I have been put on limited activity, meaning no lifting, stretching, exercising, or activity of any kind. I am still going to work but will have a limited schedule to try to keep the strain and stress on my body to as little as possible.

Please pray the God keeps doing the miraculous and helping Beyonce grow big and strong, and that we stay full of hope and faith.

Let us pray, let us pray, everywhere and every way
Every moment of the day it is the right time
For the Father above, He is listening in love
And he wants to answer us, oh let us pray.
~"Let Us Pray" by Steven Curtis Chapman

just keep swimming

We cannot even begin to describe the weight we felt lifted off our shoulders at our ultrasound today. Beyonce is growing like a weed, 1.5 inches long with a heart rate of 163 bpm. She/he was making little swimming motions with her/his arms (get this kid some floaties!) and was squirming all over the place. In fact, the sonographer had to try several times to get an accurate heart rate because the baby kept moving around right when she turned on the dopplar to listen.

This has been such a difficult week and we thank all of you for your calls, cards, and emails, and especially your prayers. We still have a lot of healing to get through, but we are on our way and firmly trusting in the plans God has for us.

May the love hidden deep inside your heart
find the love waiting in your dreams.
May the laughter that you find in your tomorrow
wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays.

Week 10: Prune Time

We must see our circumstances through God's love
instead of, as we are prone to do,
seeing God's love through our circumstances.

Goodbye to Antonio

Not sure if I can write this up again, so I will just repost from an email this week. The entries will be a little sparse over the next couple of weeks as we work through our grief, but we will be back and are looking forward to being able to rejoice over the miracle and growth of Baby Beyonce.

Hey everyone,
It is very hard for us to write this email but we wanted to share some news with you all and to ask for your prayers. During a routine OB appointment yesterday, we were told that one of our twins had stopped developing. They think this was a rare problem with the placenta that could not have been prevented. They also believe that the other baby is developing well and will have no complications due to the loss of the one. They expect Baby B to go to full term with no problems.

We are devastated at this loss but are trying to hold on to God's word that he has plan for us and for our children. We appreciate your support and prayers during this time as we work to grieve our one baby and find joy in our single pregnancy. We also ask that you please share this news with others, as we would like to have the prayers of all of our friends, family, and church.

~Lindsay and Brian

busy as a bee

After our last couple of quiet weeks, we went in full force with a busy weekend. Some great times at the pool with Matt & Elizabeth, potluck at Jen & Josh's house, fun lunch after church with friends, a slightly tense tailoring session, and a Durham Bulls game! It was so hot this weekend, which meant that anytime we stepped outside we felt sticky. I cannot wait for September to get here with its breezes and less humidity.

So I went to go get a bridesmaid dress tailored for my friend Emily's wedding this next weekend...and the tailor was pretty hilarious about the whole thing. And no I am not a slacker, the tailor told me to wait until this weekend since I growing so much every week. Anyway, I had ordered the dress up a size in anticipation of my growing belly. Apparently my belly exceeded all of our expectations. No, the dress is not too small, but lets say these little green olives better not grow at all this week!

Also, we have now "officially" announced the babies on Facebook and at work so no more secrets! Thanks to all of you who have been so great at keeping our pregnancy hush hush, but no need any more.
Double Trouble Watch 2009: We have definitely had a lot of belly growth the last 2 weeks and people who know me well are starting to say they can tell the difference. We seemed to have gotten the nausea under control in the sense that I know when to take my medicine so I experience it as little as possible. Dr. Coordination told me that I need to step up the weight gain, as I supposed to have gained 20 lbs. by 20 weeks! Meaning, lots of ice cream for me!

A hot dog at the ballgame
is better than roast beef at the Ritz.
~Humphrey Bogart