roadtrip, excellent!

Every road trip of my childhood started out with this song, whether we were playing it on a cassette, CD, or eventually an iPod. It was to remind our family that whatever earthly journey we were embarking on, the final destination was always the same.

Packed car- CHECK
More clothes, supplies, food than anyone could need in a month- CHECK
iPod stocked with fun driving tunes- CHECK
Comically large grocery bag stocked with medicines- CHECK
Two puppies- Just kidding, although they sure tried to jump in
Excitement and peace in the promises God has given us- CHECK

We'll drive to Indiana tonight, have dinner with an old family friend Gene, and then spend the night at the Pobanz's (who used to live across the street from my parents in NC). Then a day of relaxing in Indianapolis on Tuesday before driving the rest of the way to Chicago. Tuesday night we stay in a hotel in Chicago, where I have my first doctor's appointment early in the morning on Wednesday. Finally, meeting up with Al and Sandy, the incredibly generous couple who are letting us stay at their place, where we unpack and get settled!

Started out this morning in the usual way
Chasing thoughts inside my head of all I had to do today
Another time around the circle try to make it better than the last
I opened up the Bible and I read about me
Said I'd been a prisoner and God's grace had set me free
And somewhere between the pages it hit me like a lightning bolt
I saw a big frontier in front of me and I heard somebody say "let's go"!

Saddle up your horses we've got a trail to blaze
Through the wild blue yonder of God's amazing grace
Let's follow our leader into the glorious unknown
This is a life like no other - this is The Great Adventure

Come on get ready for the ride of your life
Gonna leave long faced religion in a cloud of dust behind
And discover all the new horizons just waiting to be explored
This is what we were created for

We'll travel over, over mountains so high
We'll go through valleys below
Still through it all we'll find that
This is the greatest journey that the human heart will ever see
The love of God will take us far beyond our wildest dreams
Yeah... oh saddle up your horses... come on get ready to ride
~"The Great Adventure" by Steven Curtis Chapman

with a love so sweet in so many ways

This week, Brian and I celebrated our four year anniversary! I cannot believe how quickly the time has flown since that wonderful Memorial weekend in 2005. We had a great dinner out, all dressed up, and I love my framed wedding invitation from Brian (somehow, that just never got done until now). Brian also got me new Rainbow sandals for my trip. That might seem like a strange gift, unless you had seen my current sandals. And I wonder why he might be embarrassed by my footwear.

I finished my work on Friday, which was a huge accomplishment. Trying to arrange to be gone for a month, making sure volunteers and vendors are all set for upcoming events and any emails and communication are written with instructions about when to send them out...it was quite a feat. As shocking as this may be to people who know me, I have a hard time not being super busy. I love organization and tons of activities. And to know that things are out of my hands for 4 weeks has been a real lesson in patience and giving up control. So I am spending the weekend trying to wind down my brain, slowly pulling myself off of my Internet/email dependence, and relaxing. I have a lovely massage planned for tomorrow that should help with that.

Brian has also had a busy week at work. He has received a promotion and transfer to a larger branch of his bank in Durham. So Monday is his first day at his new job! I am so proud of him, moving up even in this economy. I hope his new lunchbox and framed picture for his desk help the transition. I am sad I won't be here for his first week of work, but I'm glad he will have lots of stuff to do while I'm gone. Between his new job, softball, and church stuff, he might not even realize I'm gone! Now the puppies on the other hand...

You were better to me than I was to myself

For me there's you and there ain't nobody else

I want to stop and thank you baby

I just want to stop! And thank you baby

How sweet it is to be loved by you

~James Taylor

journeys are meant to be long

This entry will be a little more serious than others. I wanted to clarify some of our choices for people and why we have reach this point in our journey.

Today I read a blog entry by another woman struggling with infertility who has just gone through IVF. She conceived triplets and is choosing selective reduction to reduce her pregnancy down to one baby. While she has every right to make decisions about her own body, I have such a hard time understanding that choice.

When you have waited this long and struggled this hard with trying to have a child, I cannot imagine choosing to give up one of those babies. I know it is a health issue for some mothers, but I still cannot fathom how hard it would be to make that decision.

Brian and I decided a long time ago that no matter how many babies God blessed us with, we would be ready for them. While that seems like an easy statement to make, most doctors are very much against this decision. Anything over twins is very dangerous for both the mother and babies. The procedures we are doing have a high chance of twins, with a much smaller chance of triplets or higher.

So while people may make jokes ("you're having fertility treatments? I hope you're not going to have a litter like that woman with 8 babies!"...true conversation by the way...with a nurse!) we know what we are getting into. And feel peace about where God has led us.
Remind us of that in about a year ;-) By the way, I hope everyone is saving all their baby clothes. Because it is us, the family of never-heard-of medical conditions. So I am sure if there is a way for God to give us octuplets, it could happen. But we're prepared for at least twins, or "buy one get one free" as my new doctor calls it.

Making the decision to have a child is momentous.
It is to decide forever to have to have your heart
go walking around outside your body.
~Elizabeth Stone

we come together cause opposites attract

I am often told by Brian, family, and friends that I have OCD issues. Since apparently, I am unaware...

-I hate escalator handles...filthy rubber that is never washed and suspiciously dark in color. I received hand sanitizer on a carabiner as a gift from my dad once.

-I only use unlined index cards. Lines mess up my ability to write in different sizes to signify the importance of a word.

-Labeling file folders gives me a sense of accomplishments.

-I cannot stand people touching my face. Seriously, who knows where your hands have been?

-I have annual reoccurring birthday reminders on my Outlook calendar for everyone I know.

You get the picture. And if you don't, see the above picture of my wall calendar hanging above my desk. Mind you this is just the wall calendar. There is also an Outlook calendar. Which syncs to my smart phone. Both of my smart phones. Yes there are two.

I realize that my OCD results in me being very productive and being able to plan a month long trip to Chicago, with different people flying back and forth to North Carolina. As well as a month off work at an event planning job which is challenging to the say the least.

But I guess all of that organization is lost on other areas of my life. This is my office desk. It has been this way for several weeks. And I have no motivation to fix it.

Strange you say, to be so OCD organized, yet so messy all at the same time. I am simply trying to set an example for our yet unconceived children that perfection can in fact live in harmony with a total slob.

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind,
what does an empty desk mean?

friends are friends forever

So I do not condone the use of that Michael W. Smith song. There is something so cheesy to me about being putting their arms around each other and singing this song before they leave for missions work or move away. No offense to any MWS fans out there, but I feel like we need to move past the 90's as a church.

Anyways, our home group has been one of the biggest supports to us as we go through this journey. To know that you have friends that will allow you to vent and praise God all in the same sentence is so comforting. And just think, we get to see them every week! This past Wednesday, we said goodbye to two of our favorite HG members Luke and Christina. They are getting married next week and moving to San Diego. We are so happy for them, but it was hard to say "see ya later" when they're moving 3,000 miles away. And while we were taking this picture, there was a part of me that could hear the synthesizer in the background and felt the song coming on...thank God for the Holy Spirit warning me against such things!

Busy week for Lindsay as she tries to wrap up work things. Next week, there are only 2 real days of work when you count a holiday and two staff retreat days. So much to organize in so little time!

But we’ll keep you close as always

It won’t even seem you’ve gone

Cause our hearts in big and small ways

Will keep the love that keeps us strong

~"Friends" by Michael W. Smith

you scream, i scream

We had a great weekend and are enjoying our last couple of weeks together before Lindsay goes off and leaves Brian for the month of June. We wrapped up a great weekend of golf, bridal showers, and dinner with family and friends with a fun trip to Maple View Farms. Maple View is a working dairy farm out in Hillsborough, NC that distributes fresh milk to lots of local stores. They also have an ice cream shop right on their farm! You can sit on the front porch in the rocking chairs, eat some yummy fresh ice cream, and stare out at the cows.


So now we are just packing and enjoying the last couple of weeks! The piles of clothes, movies, supplies, etc. continue to grow. Our meds alone take up their own bag :-) Also, for anyone who uses Facebook, we are trying to keep all of this off Facebook, since Lindsay uses it for work. So please feel free to leave comments on here, but not on our Facebook walls. We also want to give a shout out to both our mom's who are awesome! Yay for Mom's Day!

He had a freezer full of bomb pops

Push ups, drum sticks and dreamcicles

And a paint chipped changed box

Full of sticky quarters, dimes and nickles

It was automatic when we heard that song

Run home and get your money before he's gone
~"Sweet Summer" by Rio Diamond

b-i-n-g-o

Wow...holy long break in posts, Batman! So quick recap: Went to Chicago, got our meds in the mail, 3 birthday parties for family and friends, and told Lindsay's work about her medical leave. Got all that?

Our Chicago trip was short and great. Lindsay flew to Chicago last Friday in the early morning and came back that afternoon. 6 hours in Chicago is a very short visit! But everything went great, our doctors were happy with her blood work, and allowed up to order our meds. So fertility medicines come through mail order pharmacy, which means you get a FedEx box packed with needles and vials. But they are all here and we were way blessed that two of our meds are ones that we already have a supply of at home....so we didn't have to pay for them!

Lastly, we told Lindsay's work this week about her leave. We were really worried that they would be upset about 4 weeks off work, but they have been supportive! Yay for answered prayers!

So now we are just packing and getting ready for the big trip! As Lindsay and her mom will be driving all the way to Chicago on their own, we have already started purchasing some handheld distractions.

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown
and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car
and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving
~Stephen Wright